Finding Comfort in Authenticity: How to Be Confidently You

Kassandra Dasent is a queen of confidence and the definition of a multi-hyphenate. This singer-songwriter is making her music industry comeback in a major way with her newest single: Be Still. During our Confidence Conversation, Kassandra talks about how she mastered her mindset to create music that resonates with the newest, evolving version of herself, and how she keeps her head above water in the music industry. Here’s a few gems Kassandra shared about how to embrace where you are, break out of your shell, and become the most confident version of yourself.

When you’re confident, it doesn’t matter who’s watching you or how others perceive you; what matters is how you feel about yourself. This is ultimately the difference between walking the walk and talking the talk of self confidence. What matters is not the mask that you put on or what you’re showing to the outside world, but that quiet reassurance inside of yourself. When you’re clear on who you are and your value as a human being, your confidence doesn’t waiver from situation to situation--it’s cultivated from within.

In a world of cancel culture, you have to find ways to favor yourself and fill yourself up. If you’re aspiring towards a career in the music industry like Kassandra, you’ll need to learn how to fight for your position and keep your position. She recommends that you understand who you are, what you stand for, and stay true to yourself throughout the process. Life as an artist can be both fulfilling and challenging, so you have to have a good sense of what resonates with you and how to fill your cup up when you’re running low or facing a season where you’re not necessarily in public favor.

As long as you have life there’s hope. There is always another opportunity. Each day is a new day to set a resolution and to move one step further. Each breath you take is proof that you’re getting one step closer. Encourage yourself and keep going.

Stay true to you and relinquish the rest. Your confidence can take a major hit when you’re doing your life’s work based on what others will like. The key is to do what fuels your soul and stay true to your craft. Your work won’t be for everyone, but if you’re doing it from the heart it will at least be for you.

Stop comparing yourself to social media. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to the lives of your favorite influencers or Pinterest posts, but it’s important to keep in mind that social media is only half of the story. It’s time to stop comparing yourself to the virtual utopia that people portray on social media. Take a step back and evaluate how you feel about your life’s circumstances and really take the time to appreciate who you are and how far you’ve come. You are your only measure of comparison.

Let it marinate. Rather than get caught up in how your work will be received, spend your time getting caught up in the process. Marinate in the daily details and fall in love with what you’re doing. When you love the outcome it doesn’t matter who else does. When Kassandra was making her re-entry into the music industry, she was a bit nervous about how she would be received. To get over this, she stopped thinking about what the critics would say and spent the time developing music that she loved.

Before you give to others you have to give to yourself. As women it’s easy to prioritize friends and family over our own goals, dreams, and even self care. However, when we don’t give ourselves adequate time and space to fill our own cups, we’re pouring from an empty place. Do what you need to do for you so that you can adequately give to another.

To prevent yourself from getting overwhelmed, take things day by day. When you look at the long road ahead it can be easy to get discouraged and settle into the false belief that you’ll never be able to accomplish all the things you need to do in order to see your dreams come to pass. In order to stay grounded and encouraged, Kassandra recommends that you focus on the task at hand, and take things day by day. When you do what you can in each moment you stop becoming overwhelmed and are able to put yourself into action mode. Slowly but surely you make progress, and after a while you realize that you’re further along than you thought.

Give yourself more credit for the small wins. The huge victories wouldn’t be possible without the small steps along the way. When you have your eye on the prize it can be easy to beat yourself up when you didn’t accomplish everything on your daily to-do list. However, this mentality puts us in a negative headspace. To snap back, Kassandra’s advice is to reframe the way you think about progress: sometimes the victory is that you did all of the things you set out to do; other times the victory is getting out of bed when you really didn’t feel like it. It’s all about giving yourself grace and respecting what your body and mind can do in any given situation, and that looks different day by day.

Love, appreciate, and nurture your gifts. We all have gifts, talents, and passions. In the midst of fulfilling your daily duties and routine obligations, don’t forget to cultivate that gift that lights a fire inside of you.