It’s Time to Wear Your Crown, Queen: A Confidence Conversation with Sanya Hudson

Sanya Hudson is a woman who knows who she is, and is the embodiment of a queen who proudly claims her crown. While she has great success today as the host of her own radio and talk show Sanya On-Air, her confidence is certainly something that she had to cultivate over time. Sanya came from humble beginnings and was born into an environment that didn’t necessarily give her reassurance that her dreams would eventually come to fruition. However, overtime Sanya realized that she had the ability to speak life and light into her own dreams and she began to make things happen for herself. Here’s a few things we learned from Sanya during our time together:

Confidence enables you to navigate any and every situation while holding yourself in high esteem regardless of what negativity may come your way. Let’s face it, life isn’t always going to be easy, and people won’t always be on your side, but confidence allows the “daggers to go right by you.”

Stand in your truth and acknowledge how you feel. As women the weight of the world is on our shoulders. Rather than deal with what is plaguing us at the moment, we tend to get wrapped up in all the things we have to do and neglect ourselves. Sanya lets us know that it’s okay to be human and to take a pause. We all need one. Take things moment by moment in order to conquer the day that’s ahead of you.

Learn how to take a break. Self care isn’t something that just happens, it’s something you have to be intentional about. For Sanya, this means taking a walk everyday to allow herself to unplug, process, and release everything that she is experiencing on a daily basis. How long you allocate for self care should depend on what you need at the moment. Sanya takes walks to talk to spend time with God and get back to herself and the core of who she is. So what’s the advice here? Find something that works for you to get grounded and be intentional about incorporating it into your daily routine.

Positive affirmations have to start from within. You have to do the work to fill up your own cup because the world is not going to do it for you. Seasons come and people change, so any external validation you receive will be temporary. Compliments and likes that come from the external world should be confirmation, not affirmation, for what you’re already feeling inside.

Stop carrying other people’s baggage. Sanya’s new motto is that other people’s baggage is not hers to carry. Her goal is to be on the plane in first class, not in coach with all the bags. What does this mean? Stop taking on other people’s problems as your own. We have enough to deal with as individuals. This doesn’t mean that you can’t help others, but it does mean that you shouldn’t be helping others at the expense of your own mental health and wellbeing.

Mind your mental health. Let’s get rid of the stigma of therapy and do the work that it takes to be okay. Your friends don’t have all the answers or training to help walk you through your problems and trauma. Go get the help you need.

Don’t let stereotypes hold you back. As black women, Sanya and I have both experienced situations in which people have called us aggressive for speaking our minds or for simply taking charge. Rather than bearing the burden of the stereotype, Sanya recommends reteaching and sharing a new dialogue. We define ourselves, and sometimes we just have to share that definition with others.

Your language gets put into your environment, and your environment becomes your experience. This is why it’s so important to be mindful of the language you use towards yourself. Oftentimes we utter negative things or put ourselves down and don’t even realize it. Spend a couple days checking in and being observant of your self talk and make some changes if you need to.

Cleanse your space of negativity. One of the harder parts of getting into a high vibe mentality is that you’re going to have to get rid of the negative people in your life. In the beginning of your healing journey, these people will often be close friends and family members. While it won’t be easy, it will be well worth it. As Sanya says, “you are the sum total of your five closest friends.”

Your past doesn’t define your future. Sanya had humble beginnings growing up in the housing projects of New York. Her surroundings did anything but affirm that future she wanted to see for herself. This will often be the case in life: your external environment won’t give you the encouragement, inspiration, or even motivation you need to see your dreams come to pass. Thus, Sanya says that you have to stop waiting on others and affirm yourself because that’s the type of affirmation that will never go away.