Updated: Aug 16
So, you had your eyes set on that promotion or a nice bump in your paycheck, but things didn't quite pan out. The fact of the matter is, even when you’re doing your best work, professional setbacks and disappointments are inevitable. The key to navigating the frustration is your mindset and effectively deciding what your response to being overlooked.
Before you dive into a sea of frustration, take a breather. In this article, we're dishing out some savvy advice on how to handle the situation like a pro. So, gear up to turn this setback into a launchpad for your personal and professional growth.
Understand Your Feelings and Initial Reaction
Processing your emotions is a crucial step toward maintaining your well-being and approaching the situation constructively. Reacting impulsively can potentially harm your reputation and relationships within the organization. Start by giving yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise – whether it's disappointment, frustration, or even a touch of resentment. Take some time to sit with these feelings and acknowledge their presence without judgment. Engaging in activities that help you relax and clear your mind, like going for a walk, practicing mindfulness, or journaling your thoughts, can provide an outlet for processing your emotions.
Remember, it's perfectly okay to feel a range of emotions, but channeling them into productive reflections will ultimately empower you to move forward with a clearer mindset and a readiness to tackle the situation.
Take an Objective Approach
After you’ve allowed yourself to process your emotions, it’s important to get objective about the situation at hand. Before you raise the conversation with your boss about what went wrong, take a personal inventory of your past performance. Begin by reviewing your accomplishments, responsibilities, and contributions within your current role. Identify specific projects where you excelled, innovative solutions you brought to the table, and any instances where you went above and beyond expectations.
Then, think of any areas of improvement. Are there ways you could have taken more of a lead, clarified your objectives, or contributed more? Did you work well with your colleagues? Take a 360 approach to your self-review.
By performing this self-evaluation, you’ll have a true picture of how where you stand, and if you choose to do so, be prepared and confident to have a follow-up conversation with your boss and make your case for that big title or pay raise.
Deciding What You Want
Facing the crossroads of whether to stay at your current job or explore new horizons after being overlooked for a promotion, it's time for some introspection. Take a moment to ask yourself a few key questions.
Do you still find satisfaction in your current role, despite the setback?
Consider whether the company culture aligns with your values and if you have room for growth within your existing position.
Are you willing to invest additional time and effort to enhance your skills and performance for future opportunities?
Think about the potential for skill development and career advancement in your current environment.
Moreover, explore if the reasons behind the promotion decision were within your control or influenced by external factors. Can you see yourself bouncing back from this setback and proving your worth over time? Weigh the pros and cons of staying put versus embarking on a new journey – evaluating aspects like job security, financial stability, and the excitement of fresh challenges.
Ultimately, the decision rests on whether you believe the company still offers the right platform for your aspirations or if it's time to take a leap into new possibilities.
Advocating for Yourself: Talking with Your Boss
When you're ready to sit down with your supervisor, approach the conversation with confidence, respect, and a commitment to finding common ground:
Document Your Case: Coach and Owner of Wishingwell Coaching Jessica Sweet recommends preparing for a discussion with your boss by documenting the reasons why you feel you should have gotten that promotion or raise. These reasons might include things you've done for the company recently, or reasons to believe you'll bring more value in the future (maybe you just completed an advanced degree, or you are the key person for certain client relationships).
Schedule a Meeting: Request a private one-on-one meeting with your supervisor to discuss your performance and career growth. This demonstrates your dedication to addressing the matter constructively.
Express Your Intentions: Start the conversation by expressing your enthusiasm for the company and your commitment to personal and professional growth within the organization.
Highlight Your Accomplishments: Present a concise overview of your achievements and contributions to the company. Use specific examples to showcase your impact on projects, team dynamics, and overall goals.
Address the Issue: Politely bring up the fact that you were overlooked for the promotion or raise. Express your desire to understand the reasons behind the decision and ask for feedback on areas where you can improve.
Active Listening: Give your supervisor the opportunity to share their perspective. Listen carefully to their feedback, questions, and concerns without interrupting. This shows your willingness to engage in a meaningful conversation.
Offer Solutions: Based on the feedback received, propose actionable steps you can take to enhance your performance and increase your chances for future promotions or raises.
Discuss Future Goals: Talk about your aspirations within the company and how you plan to contribute to its success moving forward. Emphasize your commitment to ongoing growth and development.
Stay Open-Minded: Be prepared for the possibility that there may be factors beyond your control that influenced the decision. Approach the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to adapt.
Ensuring Your Future Success
Now that you’ve advocated for yourself, it’s important to get clear on what you want. Bayu Prihandito, the Founder of Life Architekture, recommends that you create new performance and development goals based on the feedback you received. By setting goals and developing a personal roadmap and timeline for yourself, you can ensure that you are doing your due diligence while also ensuring your own personal progression.
Throughout this process, it's important to be patient while also being firm on what you want and by when. Make a commitment to yourself about what you want, so that you have a guidepost to follow. Then set yourself up for success by engaging the necessary tools and resources you need to get yourself there.
Here’s what we recommend:
Network: Forge meaningful connections both within and outside your company to expand your opportunities. You can also lean on your network for support navigating the disappointment. According to Wellness Coach Monika La Vigna, "Their insights can be like gold, and you never know where these connections might lead."
Establish a roadmap: Develop a strategic plan that outlines the steps you need to take to reach your desired position. Create a reasonable timeline for yourself.
Develop SMART goals to put your roadmap into action, set milestones, and measure progress in a way that is meaningful to you.
Seek mentorship. Identify mentors who can provide guidance and insights to help you navigate your career path effectively. You don’t have to do this alone.
Being overlooked for a job promotion or pay raise is undoubtedly a challenging experience, but it's also a chance to demonstrate resilience, determination, and adaptability. By understanding your emotions, reflecting on the situation, and taking proactive steps towards personal and professional development, you can transform setbacks into stepping stones toward a more rewarding and fulfilling career journey. Remember, setbacks are temporary – your growth and potential are limitless.