Broadcaster and On-Air Coach Ally Melendez wouldn’t be where she is today without keeping her head in the game. As the founder of the On-Air Institute, Ally realizes how important it is to protect your energy and be intentional about creating a healthy and productive mindset so that you can show up as your best and be your best in any space, at any time. Here’s a few tips she shared with us about how to be grounded in confidence and keep going when negativity comes your way:
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something that you can learn, practice, and evolve over time. So, no matter where you’re at right now on the confidence scale, the good news is that you can always work on yourself and build from within.
Gratitude and confidence go hand-in-hand. Gratitude unlocks the feeling of wholeness because you realize all that you have and all that you are. As Ally puts it, when you feel whole, you feel like you’re enough. Thus, when you’re grateful you’re able to feel confident by default.
When you’re in a negative space, just remember that you are bigger than your circumstances. As humans we go through a range of emotions, but when those feelings come, be sure to get grounded, respect your emotions, and let them pass right through you. Sure, you may have feelings of sadness or doubt which are very real, but you never want to identify as that label. Feel the feeling and then let it go. You are more than your temporary moods.
When you compare yourself to others, you put yourself in a place of scarcity. The fact of the matter is that the only person you will ever be is yourself. So, when you compare yourself and wish that you had someone else’s physical attributes or lifestyle, you put yourself at an automatic loss because you can never have what they have--they already have it. What we can do is appreciate the abundance in your own life and be grateful for what you have and who you are.
Little things can add up, so be sure to put them into perspective. Whether they are good or bad, the little things that occur along the way can have a lasting impact. Thus, it’s important to put them into the greater context of life and appreciate them for what they are, or are not. This is especially important when you’re having a bad day. Rather than letting a bunch of small upsets ruin your outlook, put them into perspective--some things may not have gone according to plan, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad plan (or a bad day).
Learning is the key to growth. In order to break out of imposter syndrome or insecurity, it’s important to do two things: overcome ignorance and put yourself out there. When you do your research and educate yourself as to your greatest potential, you can stand firm in the fact that you know what you’re doing and you’re doing the best you can. Additionally, because repetition is key, when you put yourself out there and do it afraid you are able to overcome the fear.
Positive self talk has the power to change your experience. We have to get into the habit of speaking kind words to ourselves because our words become our truth and our truth becomes our reality. Ally’s mom taught her the art of positive affirmations from a young age and she grew up filling her cup with positive thoughts and expressions towards herself. For Ally, that trick is to connect with the thought so much that you believe it to be true and you start behaving and existing from that space.
No one is perfect and everyone gets nervous at times. It’s easy to think that the people we admire have it together all the time, but any and everyone that is progressing is put into situations that require them to be uncomfortable. In fact, Ally was hosting an event for ESPN with football star Tim Tebow who admitted to her that he always gets nervous before speaking engagements. So what do you do in these situations? When you’re feeling nervous, Ally recommends channelling it into enthusiasm or a productive emotion that will eventually help that nervousness fade away and boost your confidence in the process.
All the power you need is already inside of you. We already have what we need, the key is to bring it to the surface. Think about it--if energy is neither created nor destroyed, all you have to do is transform what’s already within.
You don’t have ultimate control, so be open to flow with the moment. Sometimes disruptions, interruptions, and upsets happen. During times like this we have two options: flow with the moment or let the distraction impact the outcome.